(aka The Wilmore Inquisition) …….

[Tristan and I enter Pappa’s room after a long conversation about my childhood… both of us choking on laughter because I was so cute and girly and frilly (always in dresses almost bigger than I was), but I was also so rotten!] Tristan didn’t believe it, so we went straight to the source for confirmation…….

Me: Just curious, why didn’t I ever get a pony??????
Tristan: …. and a pool! Why didn’t she ever get a pool?????? Where’s her pool?????
Pappa (doesn’t miss a beat): The pony is next to the river with the ducks and the pool is somewhere around there. Did you tell Tristan about the river with the ducks?
Me: Tristan has been to the river and seen the ducks at the dam…..
Tristan: The what?!?!?!
Pappa: The pony is near the river with the ducks and also the dam.
And the pool

At this point, we’re all choking on laughter because it sounds so ridiculous, but is all true.

[Tristan and I exit the room]
Me (over my shoulder): Love you, Pappa!
Tristan (even louder over his shoulder): I love you, Pappa!

Pappa (shaking his head): Love you, too.

I’m pretty sure we just broke Pappa.

Then, as we’re halfway down the stairs we hear …..

Pappa: Do you have any ice cream down there?

Tristan’s choice for our Christmas card …. parental veto inforced

Seriously …….. WHY is it impossible to get a professional photo of our family????? Every year we try, and every year some freak event prevents it from happening.  A random person receiving our Christmas card (if you even received one last year, it was most likely 11 months late), would have no clue how many family members we actually have (one or more people are guaranteed to be M.I.A.) ….. you may even question if we even like each other ….. or ask if perhaps we are anti-Christmas-ites.  What’s with all the injuries, you may ask (see bruises in precious years’ photos….. I had to have a neighbor Photoshop the best picture of 2005 – no clue how a bruise covering the entire middle of Tristan’s forehead occurred). Ok, yes, I admit I am likely to show up to most any event bruised, bleeding or scarred ….. (don’t even ask) …. it could have been caused by a kamikaze remote control or pretty much any random household item: doors, walls, counter-tops, you name it.

I truly don’t understand what I have done to offend these objects!  Picture this…  I go about my day, minding my business, skipping and singing with birds fluttering sweetly around my head (true story), but yet these vicious assailants just jump out and attack me…. and sweet Jesus, staircases and curbs absolutely abhor me!!!!! One year we have (what would have been) a precious photo of the boys as a live chick pooed on Brennen’s shoulder (little bro’s face turned from smiling at the camera to pure horror as he realized what these cute little animals were capable of expelling from their cute little fluffy bodies).

Last year, the eldest child slept through the photo shoot.  Yes, a 19-year-old college boy/child/man, slept through 17 phone calls and 8 texts, trying to rouse him from his sweet slumber to come join the photo shoot about which he had known the specific day, date and time for over 2 months!  I reminded my child 3 days before.  I reminded my child 2 days before.  I reminded my child the day before.  Buuuuttttttttt, he lolled about in dreamland while momma repressed homicidal feelings (orange is not my color, orange is not my color … repeat ad nauseam). and smiled prettily for the camera.

This year, the pictures were more important than ever.  I had planned a scrapbook for my mom (recovering from breast cancer), and the yearly calendar for the hubs (but even more special because we’re just months away from our 15 year wedding anniversary ….. soooooo wifey had something else planned for that date that necessitated a full family picture).  With those special variables in mind, I ordered our clothes in late November with a 5-7 day shipping guarantee.  Take a guess how that turned out.  The clothes didn’t show up until 27 days after I placed the order.  Photo shoot had to be rescheduled, and thankfully the new photographer managed to work us in during this busy season (why we used a new photographer after trying 2 personal recommendations since we moved here is a WHOLE other story …. last years’ photographer can go fly a kite).  Let me pause here to give a shout-out to the photographer we did use.   He (Trinity Greer) is beyond fantastic.  I knew of him because he shot some photos and videos at the crossfit gym where Matt used to work-out and coach runners.  Trinity shot a beautifully artistic picture of Matt…..

Trinity was featured in a magazine and the picture of Matt was one the editors chose to use in the article.  I wasn’t sure if he also did family pictures, but I reached out to Trinity figuring it wouldn’t hurt to ask.  He was so gracious and so willing to work with us to get us the special family Christmas pictures I had hoped for. But wait…… what is that I hear?  Another snag in our photo plan?  A 20-year-old child (same one?  If you do the math, I bet you’ll have a good guess) couldn’t get off work and didn’t tell me until the day we had scheduled to take the pictures.   SOOOOOOOOO, that’s why only 3 of the 4 of us are in these pictures.  Only 1 of my 2 children were there. BUT, on the positive side of the eternal-family-photo-jinx, my eldest baby is working hard and responsibly.  AND, the pictures that Trinity took are THE. BEST. PICTURES. of us EVER!   My guys hate having their picture taken, but they walked away from the shoot laughing and happy because Trinity is not just an amazing photographic artist, he is an amazing person.  He made me feel beautiful.  He and Matt are of the same athletic ilk, so Matt felt at ease despite being sick (more attempted jinxes, I tell ya’ll!), and Trinity was so kind to Tristan, that Tristan left feeling good about himself also.  My baby is an extremely intelligent and sensitive 14-year-0ld, and he often feels like adults treat him like a little child, so he dreads events like these.  When Trinity spoke to my baby, he uplifted that child, and when we left, Trinity hugged Tristan good-bye, and Tristan felt valued throughout the whole time.

AND THEN!  I saw the pictures.  And I sobbed.  They are not just photos …. they are art.  Trinity captured the essences of my baby and my husband.  There are some pictures that I can’t share because they are so special, they have inspired a 15th wedding anniversary project for my darling hubs, and a belated Christmas gift for my mom.  But I wanted to share a few because they are so special.

I was heartbroken that my eldest couldn’t make it, but I’m proud of him for being responsible.  I am blessed with these guys … my father, my husband, and my boys.

I am not jinxed.

I’ll work out our “Christmas,” or “New Year,” or just, “We love you,” photo cards, and as I work on them, my heart will be full of love and gratitude for my family and friends and for the other special people that bless our lives, like Trinity…. like the cashier at the pharmacy, like the woman in line with me at the dry cleaner’s, like the people whose messages to me say my yoga photos are inspirational, like the man who held the door for me, like every person that I can reach out to and help, like the opportunities I have to pay it forward.

I am not jinxed.  I am blessed.

This post title has a dual meaning,  because:
1.  I miss my soul-sister (Autumn) SO much and can’t wait for her to come back!

and

2.  It’s time for my annual Texas heat rant

It’s October,  but the temperatures here have barely budged below melting point.  Good news, though…  we’re expecting a “cold front.”

I’m not enthused. Nor do I completely believe it.

My Durango had been overheating, just minimally over the midline until it recently,  gradually began to get worse.  This vehicle has easily been the best we’ve had, and has served us well for about 8 years, with only minimal problems. I Googled like crazy and thought maybe the fan clutch had worn out.

Matt and his fantastic friend / coworker tried to replace it over the weekend. God love them for spending their weekend (after a stressful work week leading up to month-end). Matt’s juggling work emergencies all weekend and all hours,  but he and our friend still put in many sweaty, unsuccessful hours later trying to diagnose, buy parts and random tools, then many more hours trying to take apart and fix the problem.  They finally threw in the towel,  spent more hours putting everything back together, and Matt called another great friend who owns a repair shop. This generous friend has also helped us many times since our move here. He doesn’t upcharge for parts or labor and is a genuinely honest repair shop owner (big cheers to guys like these friends!)

Matt took the Durango to his shop today,  and once again,  he and his staff came to the rescue.  I am so thankful that Matt has such a great group of friends here, who have helped us many times. GMTC for the win! 

The irony and relevance to the Texas temperatures is that the actual problem wasn’t the fan clutch I thought it was,  but rather the thermostat had MELTED and fallen into the water pump.  2 words….  Texas,  y’all.

In all seriousness though,  this is a light-hearted rant,  because heat and a physical location that I don’t personally care for are so trivial in the grand scheme of things.  Family, friends, health and happiness are my focus,  and we are overflowing with gratitude for all of those tonight. 

We are celebrating,  rejoicing, and giving thanks.  It has been a rough season,  but with joyful resolutions.  I am so thankful for those who walked, prayed and supported me through this time. I truly have the best family (nuclear and extended), and a handful of dear friends (each of whom I consider the sisters I always wished for).

So although the temperatures may not on-board,  I think I’m going to begin celebrating Thanksgiving a bit early this year. 

I know this site has been very neglected for a long time.  So much has happened, that it’s been hard to put into words.  I’ll start out with a simple post and ease into the more difficult ones.

So …. this weekend!  It was amazing! It was pure joy for this momma’s heart.

6 weeks ago, Tristan began 9th grade, but not at the high school to which we are zoned.   He applied, interviewed and was accepted to a high school that offers both typical high school courses, at the same time as the students also being enrolled in and receiving college credits.  Basically a dual-credit school.  Tristan will graduate from high school in 2019, and at the same time, he will also receive his college-accredited Associate’s degree.  In fact, the kids are awarded their Associate’s Degrees a few weeks before the High School graduation ceremony.  This school is a small, new high school.  Their current graduating class is 33 students.  Tristan is one of 89 Freshmen.  I don’t even have words adequate enough to describe the amazing environment of the school.  They stress life skills, intelligence, responsibility, accountability, and high-level/critical thinking, but at the same time, the administration is so accepting of every person: race, creed, color and religion.  These kids from the Senior class to Freshman, support, accept, and encourage each other.  At orientation, the Seniors told the incoming Freshmen, “Here, you don’t have to be afraid of upperclassmen.  We welcome you and we are here to help you.”

Alternatively, we went back to Tristan’s Middle School and spent over an hour talking to his Gifted & Talented teacher (whom we absolutely adore).  He had spoken to a girl who was popular and well-liked in their middle school, but in first weeks at the district high school, she had been pushed, shoved into lockers, given purposefully wrong directions, and other unkind behavior by upperclassmen.  She is miserable.  It breaks my heart.  Every day, I pick up a happy teenager and count our blessings.

My eldest baby began his sophomore year at UTSA, is working at a steakhouse and is also happy … just a lot more hungry than his little brother.

That leads to a good transition into this weekend.  We began with a Spanish project for Tristan.  He repeated a story his class had created, and was required to return Monday with a parental signature and a selfie …. I just love this school, the teachers, and the out-of-the box teaching/acquiring methods they encourage!!!!  They truly make learning fun! Here is our post-recital “selfie,” or as I call it an, “ussie.”

Saturday …. Matt, Tristan and I volunteered at a local race.  Matt is still recovering from his hernia repair and not quite ready yet to return to racing (read this with a heavy dose of sarcasm), because he’s worked back up to 6-12 miles a day at sub 7:15 minute pace per mile.

Anyway, the 3 of us had a great evening filling up waters and helping where we could (….. and some of us added in some singing and dancing, while others pretended not to know the crazy ones … ok, one… ok, just me … I’m just thankful only one crazy photo of me was actually captured … the other 2 probably wish that none had been – LOL).

We finished the weekend with the entire crew …. all my 4 guys gathered for dinner.  Pappa enjoyed a few bowls of stew full of fresh veggies, and the younger 3 guys filled their bellies with homemade mac & cheese, beef stew and cocktail meatballs in my homemade imitation Montgomery Inn Rib sauce.

Of course, we need a sports update ….

Ohio State won!!!!! O-H-I-O!!!!!

Unfortunately, the Bills didn’t. If only they had, it would’ve been the icing on our Team Wilmore cake!

By now, many of you have seen the commercial addressing domestic violence, funded by the NFL and shown during halftime this evening during the Superbowl broadcast.  It’s powerful in its simplicity.  If you haven’t seen it, or even if you have, it’s worth watching again.  60 seconds.  1 minute of this woman’s life.  It is based on a true story.  And thank the Lord the 911 operator listened.  Please watch.

It’s powerful for those of us who have lived through it because it was our reality.  It, along with my husband and a dear friend, inspired me to speak up and publicly say that I was once just like that woman.  That house was once just like the place I lived (straight down to the holes in the walls, broken keepsakes, etc).  The fear in her voice was once just like mine.  Too often, domestic violence, domestic abuse, abuse by a spouse or significant other, stays hidden.  We are taught to stay silent.  We are taught to fear asking for help.  We are taught that you don’t talk about what happens to you.  In my particular case, I thought that because a fist never made contact with my face, that I wasn’t a battered woman.

7+ years after it all began, a 24-year-old shadow of me was sitting with a case worker from Artemis (the battered women’s shelter in Dayton, Ohio).  My pencil checked off box after box of signs, symptoms, and examples on her questionnaire. I handed it back to her, she read it through and tears welled in her eyes as she asked, “do you understand that you are a victim of domestic and sexual abuse?” I answered “No.”  She asked if I was scared.  Well, now, that’s a silly question.  The only reason I was sitting in front of her at that moment was because my life had been threatened in front of police officers.  Yes.  Yes, I was scared.

Why did it take police officers removing the option from my hands and arresting the abuser?  Why didn’t I know I was a “Battered Woman?”  Why didn’t I leave?  Why didn’t I ask for help?  Why did I stay?

Why?

Because IT’S YOUR FAULT!

Why?

Because IF YOU TELL, I’LL BE ANGRY!

Why?

Because I was ashamed.

I could go on, and on, and on with the reasons why.  With the threats.  The looming presence above and all around.  The corners in which I hid…. literal and metaphorical.

Why?

Everyone averts their eyes.  They cover their ears.  They softly close the door and convince themselves they aren’t leaving you behind to deal with the repercussions of an enraged person.

I’m still not able to tell my whole story.  Instead, I’ll leave you with the words, “No more It’s not my problem.”  And I’ll ask you rather than stepping inside my darkest memories, please instead watch these 2 other short commercials by nomore.org and the NFL … the first was shown during the NFL season, and the other is a few seconds of outtakes.

This is a few of those players trying to gain composure to film that commercial …

No more It’s Not My Problem.  Please listen and please help if you can.

We had a truly Happy Thanksgiving and I hope that every one of my precious friends and wonderful family had a Thanksgiving just as blessed and beautiful!

My world, and my #1 reason for giving thanks ….

… with the air conditioner running???

Dear Texas,
I thought we had an understanding. It’s autumn, remember? Tomorrow is the first day of December? It’s time for sweaters and cozy blankies and fires. This …

is not acceptable. Please advise where I may formally lodge a complaint. I hope that we can amicably resolve this issue and proceed with the seasons accordingly. Thank you for your attention and I look forward to your speedy adjustment.
Best Regards,
An Ohioan missing home

We couldn’t be more proud of our Little Bear!!!  Tonight was his first theater performance and he NAILED it …. complete with Britsh accent. You’ll have to turn up your volume if you want to view the videos.

Head Waiter